Advice....?

what is a good way to accquire good verbal communication skills when i don't have themAdvice....?
Take public speaking lessonsAdvice....?
A great place to start especially to build confidence is looking into a mirror and practice speaking to yourself. THis may sound silly but you need to speak and hear yourself talk first. Then try to go to the mall or anywhere there is a lot of people and just strike up a convorsation, take notes of where you feel you need practice and head back to the mirror and practice. Just like anything repetition is key.
take a class, in writing or english.
read some articles on communications on this site
a class?? your local community college, perhaps.
Read, read, read, read, read.





Good luck.
Here are few words you can learn...











Here are six super tips for improving your personal


communication style:





1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come


easier once you become aware of your own communication


style.





Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to


your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort


of body language and what tone of voice are you using?





Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good


communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You've just


taken an important first step in how to improve


communication skills.





2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the


style of those around you. How do the most important people


in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for


approaches you can model and make your own.





3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don't think


it is too late to change your way of conversing because


it's been years. You had to learn to communicate in the


first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change


them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.





A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged


daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn't tell


him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated


discussion when he asked, ';Why didn't you tell me?';





Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing


her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his


daughter would involve listening first before jumping right


into solving the problem.





4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match


the other person's movements, posture and verbal style.


Don't do everything they do, but mirror one or two things.


For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to


questions, you follow suit.





Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually


do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound


simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel


very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.





5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as


in a different environment. Make sure you change your style


to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want


to tell your best friend, in private.





Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to


improve communication skills by altering your style for the


appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far


too much information in a group setting.





6. Don't criticize others for communicating differently. If


we all communicated in the same way, we'd soon be bored


with each other.





Getting a good grasp of your communication style and


finding ways to accommodate other peoples' styles, is a


good way to improve your communication skills.





If you want to improve your professional and social


standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a


positive manner.





3 Simple Ways to Impress Anyone You Meet


by Peter Murphy





The way we live today more and more emphasis seems to be


placed on career success, material gain and achievement. And


in an increasingly complex world sometimes it seems like


technology and rigid processes have become more important


than the people they were set up to serve.





However there is one success secret that costs nothing. And


we can all use it today to get ahead more quickly. I am


talking about cultivating exceptional people skills in a


way that puts you ahead of the crowd, in a way that


respects and honours the people you deal with in your life.





Ironically when we neglect people skills the complex


business and social infrastructure of our world can fall


over in a moment. What do I mean?





Have you ever walked into the store of a major nationwide


retailer and walked through the multimillion dollar premises


only to find nobody to serve you?





Have you ever phoned your bank and got a busy signal or even


worse got cut off despite their huge customer service


focused advertising campaigns?





How about in your workplace? Have you ever done a fantastic


job, stayed late to get it done and felt taken for granted?


The corporate slogan about caring for the welfare of the


staff rings hollow after this happens more than once.





On the other hand if you learn from the most successful


individuals and companies you will very often find one


trait in common -- excellent people skills.





Here are three ways to become more successful by developing


your people skills:








1 Learn from people who manage to remain cheerful in the


face of massive challenges and stress.





A good friend of mine was on the verge of losing his


business last year but you would never have guessed it. He


was always smiling and confident things would get better.


He somehow managed to still treat his staff well even when


he was worried about running out of money.





By listening to him and watching him cope with extreme


financial pressure I learned a lot. His belief that


everything would work out kept him smiling even while


facing some very dark hours.





You too need to become better under pressure. Anyone can


cope well when things are going well. It is only when you


shine under pressure that you prove to yourself and the


world that you are destined for better things.








2 Exceptional people skills happen at the margin.





To go from average to good and from good to excellent is


possible in a short time when you make incremental


improvements each day.





You do not need to change your personality or go on a two


week course. Simply focus on listening skills, on non verbal


communication and on building confidence.





Read some good books, get advice from experts and apply what


you learn. By making only very slight improvements where it


matters most you will quickly develop exceptional people


skills.





The very best performers in sport and in business are only


marginally better than their closest competitors and these


slight margins make all the difference between winning and


losing.





Aim to make marginal improvements in your ability to


communicate with impact and your results will improve


dramatically. Now would be a great time to get started!








3 Say what you mean and mean what you say





Mark Twain famously commented that common sense is not that


common and today sincerity and honesty are far from common


either.





You can stand out from the crowd by making a point of saying


what you mean instead of saying what you think people want


to hear. Insincerity is a game you can never win as you are


always living in fear of getting caught out.





If you follow through on what you say people will respect


you for your integrity and you will be known and


appreciated as someone who can be counted on.





Be unusual -- hold yourself to a high standard of integrity


and commit to saying what you mean and doing what you say


you will.





When you live like this each day other people develop


confidence in you and in what you say. And success in the


world gets a whole lot easier with a team of people who


believe in you paving the road ahead.





Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your


communication skills becomes not only a change but a better


lifestyle for you.





Step #1 Start socializing close to home.





Not literally but metaphorically. Start by looking at your


closest social interactions. If you are the kind of person


who is more off to themselves and not very active at your


friends' parties then you are more than likely the same


person who can't speak up in a business or find the courage


to initiate a date.





So start by mingling yourself with your closest people more


often. Practice by holding conversation with family you


don't regularly speak too or becoming more active in the


party scene with your friends.





There's no need to become outrageous just speak up with


those you fell comfortable with.





Step #2 Improve your conversation skills.





Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to


interacting with other people, it doesn't have to be an


obstacle though.





Watch the conversation and don't let those uncomfortable


pauses scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a


good chance that the other person is nervous as well, so


just take it easy.





Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things


locally that you have in common such as the job or what's


been on television lately.





When you see the conversation picking back up then just let


it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to amore


important topic.





Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid


talking over the other person. Watch the person's reaction


and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and


anticipate their next move.





Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the


person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never


overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your


communication skills.





Step #3 Improve the body language in your communication


skills.





Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you


display a piece of aggression, stating that you would


rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and


that possibly you might be bored.





If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same


message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets


are fine.





Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don't


sway. Swaying can suggest again that you are bored or that


you are in a hurry.





Step #4 Ending the Conversation.





Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in


improving your communication skills as holding the


conversation is.





Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over labels you


as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person's movements


and actions.





We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of


letting each know when we are through. If the other person


tends to refer to their ';to do list'; for the day or are


constantly shifting their body weight or displaying other


physical signs of boredom, let them go.





Improving your communication skills can be done. Don't


worry, keep trying and aim to improve a little each day.


Good social skills are the foundation for success!





What else can you do to take charge of even the most


difficult social situations?





They simply need to develop the appropriate skills. If you


need to improve upon your communication skills, here are a


few tips to help you get started down the right path.





You can learn how to start a conversation and converse with


anybody, anytime.





1. In order to make interesting conversation, you must be


interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current


events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a


mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways


to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to


start a conversation with almost anybody.





2. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel,


prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest


you most and what you would like to discuss about a


particular subject.





A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to


easily converse with others. Don't be afraid to ask


questions.





In general, people like to talk about themselves and will


respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions.


Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as


difficult if you prepare in advance.





3. Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a


conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen


closely to the other person's response.





Often you'll find an invitation to continue the


conversation if you listen carefully and respond


accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.





Alternate between talking and listening to what the other


person is saying and make additional comments as


appropriate.





Learning how to start a conversation is really just using


good manners and showing a genuine interest in others.





4. Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet


those you encounter with a smile and look them directly in


the eye.





It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned


skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new


self-confidence.





Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to


maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act


confidently and you will eventually become confident.





Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning


how to start a conversation.





5. Try to remember small details about co-workers and


acquaintances. Asking about a weekend plan or a relative is


an excellent way to start a conversation and show genuine


interest in those around you.





If you are interesting, attentive, and act with confidence


you will appear to be the kind of person people like to


have as a friend.





By practicing these new skills until they become second


nature, you will increase your own self-esteem and learn


how to start a conversation easily.





Learning how to start a conversation is really just a


process of practicing your social skills until they become


a habit.





Repetition and determination are the most important factors


in building your level of confidence and conversing


effortlessly in any situation.





The 7 Easy Ways To Make a Great First Impression


%26amp; the 3 Ways to Ensure Low Stress Communication





When you have an important event to attend there are 7


great ways to make sure you perform at your very best.


These tips are relevant for social events and business


meetings.





Discover how to communicate with confidence while


making great conversation...





1. Decide what you want to say before the event. Review it


in your mind to make sure it sounds okay. Keep rehearsing


it until you can say it with conviction and confidence.





2. Consider your potential listeners. Who will you be


talking to and which topics of conversation will be


welcome? You need to make sure your message matches your


audience.





3. Be yourself. The worst mistake is to pretend you are


something you are not. People will see through you and


distrust everything you say. Even if you communicate


clearly and with confidence.





4. Never expect things to work out perfectly. Be ready to


deal with problems by deciding in advance what you will do.


What will you do if people ignore your input? Now is the


time to decide and not later on in the heat of the moment.





5. Be flexible in your approach. Different people need to


be treated differently. Pay very close attention to how


people respond to what you say and keep adjusting your


approach until you have a good rapport with your listener.





6. Make the other person the focus of your attention and


let him lead the conversation in the early stages. Let that


person steer the conversation onto topics that are of


interest to him.





7. Anticipate what could go wrong. Then do what you can to


make sure those scenarios do not occur. Adequate planning


is the key to performing at your best in the moment.





Of course you need to also understand the importance of low


stress communication...





After all life is all about choices. And so is the way you


communicate. You can fill your days with frustrating high


stress communication or you can have days of low stress


effective communication with your peers.





There are three great ways to ensure low stress


communication:





1. Recognize Positive Intentions





When someone you are talking to is unkind, negative or


downright rude it is easy to get annoyed, angry and even


aggressive.





However this will just makes the situation worse and even


faster than you can imagine.





There is a better way. Instead look for the positive


intention of the person you are talking to. What do I mean?





Ask yourself -- what is the positive intention behind this


behavior?





If the person you are talking to is angry maybe the


positive intention is to express some hurt or frustration.


What is important is looking for a positive not to get the


correct answer.





When you assume the person has a positive message hidden


underneath the negative exterior you will have more


compassion and patience and you will not feel so stressed


dealing with the individual.





2. Choose Your Own Emotional State





I talk a lot about the importance of managing your


emotional state. Why? Because it is an essential life skill.





Unless you are in charge of how you feel your ability to


communicate effectively will always be limited and


dependent on other people.





When you are in a potentially stressful situation and


everyone around you is losing their cool this does not mean


you have to join them! You will be able to contribute a lot


more if you remain calm and centered.





Staying calm and resourceful is a choice you can make.


Unfortunately it is all too easy to be a sheep and simply


follow the crowd. Nobody says you have to be a sheep!





Instead make a point of keeping yourself in a resourceful


state.





3. Step Outside The Situation





Whenever I am in a highly charged situation I will often


step outside the situation -- in my mind. This helps to


defuse the event for me.





You can do this too. Simply imagine that you are at the


other end of the room watching the interaction between you


and the other person or people.





It is as if you are a neutral observer with no emotional


involvement in the discussion at hand.





When you do this you will think of ideas to handle the


situation better and you will also feel less bothered by


the stress of the other people.





This is one technique you need to play with first in easy


everyday conversations. Once you get familiar with it you


will find it easy to mentally step outside the event while


still participating with the people in front of you.





Stress or relaxation which do you prefer?





If you want to improve your professional and social


standing, learn to communicate efficiently and in a


positive manner. You will notice a dramatic difference in


the way other people perceive you if you demonstrate


self-confidence and project a friendly, informed image.
INTEREST. That is the most important thing to have. To acquire good verbal communication skills you nmust have some interest in others. You must also listen more. But remember how you talk is not as important as what you talk. Classes will help you to learn how to talk but interest in others and listening will teach you what to talk and espesially when to talk.
Go to the library and get a book about it or take a class.